ZILA NYER!

Does it ever happen to you one day, you stop doing something you enjoy doing..
And then you start thinking, what if I don’t want to do it anymore..
And then after long time you stop doing it, then you start saying, I miss what I used to do, and you again start doing what you enjoy to do..
Haha.. berputar belit yek..
What I’m trying to say, I used to enjoy study and learning, then, there is phase that I got tired of learning, and now, back to reality, I enjoy my studyy.. haha.. life is really like a roller coaster.. Oh, i love those 70’s song roller coaster.. uhukk uhukk.. I don’t remember the song title obviously, but the song is the teenage movie, about students building a solar car.. students with variety of background and knowledge.. in the movie, it looks like an easy task to build a solar car, but in reality, we just pick up pieces of knowledge. Not like everyone will know everything, but obviously small knowledge contribute to a bigger invention. But wait a minute, Socrates, Carnot, Steffan, Edison, Wright brothers and etc they do build something out of nothing.. I mean they have knowledge, but they really put it to work by themselves.. Do they?
Have you sometimes wonder, how this geniuses making our life so complete, and to some of us, they put "these who eager to learn" in hell! for my cases, carnot, boltzman, Steffan, and Mr "green function" do put my life in a world that’s hard to define. I enjoyed learn them, but sometimes, they really make me look like a dumb! But, once, I mean last week, I stop and look at my past, and I start saying to myself, wooww zila, you’ve made this far.. I’m soo proud of myself to be able to know that some other people will never know in their life. Some people never see an engine, but I have an opportunity to see how they work. Maybe I’ll never build them, but isn’t it amazing to be able to know what each part of the component made from, and why we made them, and why it works as it should, and bla bla bla.. And then some people never heard about vortex tube, and me I’ve to do a class project about that! Doesn’t it amazing.. One day I can talk about it for half hr while some other people can’t talk about it even for a minute.
Gees.. I really have to stop look about my past. Cause my future contains of 4 midterms and 4 hw next week. Time to study baby…
Life is soo colorful with learning.. to some of you who knows me, might puke to read this article cause they know how much I hate learning, but today, I’m so inspired about learning. But tomorrow things might change.. haha.. that’s zila, my motivation is like a roller coaster…

Just wonder, can we get sth w/o have to give up other things?
If life is that easy, if life is just a matter of write and erase, then we’ll never appreciate life.
we’ll never have to make right choice, we’ll never have to think of consequences of our action.
that’s life, life is like riding a roller coaster.
But I hate riding a roller coaster, i’m going to puke, or sometimes feel like at the edge of life and death!

ah.. i don’t know what I melalut here…will continue backkk

Huhu..
I’m so sleepy this morning. I guess I slept too much during the weekend.. I slept late last night, that we both miss our “sahur”. this is the 2nd time, we woke up about 5 min before Subuh. Hmm.. I was planning to send my hubby to work so I can use the car to class. But, I’m damn sleepy that I chose to take bus to class.
Somehow, feeling draggy, I drag myself to shower.. after taking shower, I feel so fresh and excited to go to class.. But, I’ve to leave my house at 9.15am to get to bus and be at my class at 10 am.. humm.. as usual, before to class, I’m checking my email, and other quick search on internet.. But then, this morning my big sis and lil brother is online from Malaysia, it was 12 midnight there.. Since I haven’t speak with them for weeks, I almost forgot that I’ve to be quick to catch my bus. when I realized it was close to 9.15, running for “tudung” and “bag” and paper and hw and bla bla bla, no perfume or make up other than face lotion I applied right after shower, I ran towards elevator and go to closest bus stop. Nobody there? hmm.. checked my watch, I’ve a min before the bus should be here. When I look fwd, I just missed the bus by a minute.. Damnn!! I hated my feeling that time. I sat there not knowing what to do. If I take next bus, I’ll be late a min of 15 min if I’m lucky, but my class is only 50 min. I don’t have any other class for today, but I’m planning to stay at the library finish up my hw.
Or else, I can take a bus to my hubby work place (which is in the opposite direction), take the car and drive to school, and if I’m lucky should be in my class on time. I’m weighing both options in my mind. Then, I walked slowly towards the opposite direction to another bus (which in the same direction to my apt). Then again, there is the bus that should go to my hubby’s work place. I can run to get the bus, but somehow my passive mind still thinking of those 2 options. 30 sec past by, and that’s it. Too late for any decision now (bus slowly moving farther), but to go home and do my hw.
3 hrs past by, I haven’t started doing my hw, but continue chatting with my sis n bro. Now they’re asleep, and I’m so lonely and lazy and sleepy.. Hmm.. It’s raining today, which is weird for us Tucsonians/Arizonans. We’re in the lands of one of the driest place in the world. Somehow, this year the climate is different. the weather is very2 nice compare to some other years I’ve been here. Nice, cool weather that I love..
Hmm.. noo..noo.. i’m not writing anymore. I’m gonna take my book, hw and sit in my study table.. No more non-sense… That’s it!! I’m really lack of discipline, hope my kids will not grow up like me, but be like their daddy, but still looks cute like me :).. heh

I’m happy I made through my study this far.
I’m happy I take my time to learn about my interest.
I’m happy I finally know what I like (not love yet)
I’m happy I have the chance to explore my opportunity.
I’m happy to know that I’m able to do what other people might not be able to do
and I’m happy to be able to do what some other people able to do.

It might take me longer than anyone to know their strength, weakness and interest,
but I’m glad I found them :).

Anyway, Ramadhan Mubarak and Eid Mubarak (in 2 wks)