when you least expected, you go to your usually empty mail box and found sth that you been praying for. When you least expected, there is great news waiting for you. when you least expected, things can change your life. Sometimes, we don’t have to wait for something. when it’s time, it’ll be there no matter what you do..
What do you expect I’m talking about? When you least expected, yI’ll let you know..
(seriously I love to merapu lately)..
If only we know what our future looks like, we’ll never afraid to make a decision. We know what exactly to do, or not to. But again maybe life will be no fun. There is nothing to explore, no failure in our life, which then we’ll never get any lesson for our own action.
I’m very curious to know about my future that today I spend hours to search about plam reading, tarrot card, etc. But what I can conclude is, no matter what you search for, you never found an exact answer to what you’re looking for. Life is about adventure and taking risk. But how much risk we want to take, is the biggest question that I have today.
If life is as easy as you made mistake, you regret and put behind your past, we’ll never afraid to try to take risk. But, life is never as easy like a movie. Yes, we made mistake, we regret, but instead of putting everything in the past, we’ve to deal the mistakes we made in the future. How much you want to deal that in the future is the real question that I’ve now! If only I know how much pressure that I can deal in future, whether I brave enought to pay for my mistake, then I’ll never regret to try and explore.
Oh, what all the craps I’m writing here. Why don’t I go straight fwd clearer talk?? Hum.. noo.. If I type it out, then it seems like I already decided to take one big risk, which I’m not even sure right now whether it’s a mistake or it’s the right thing to do right now. I discussed this with my husband, but he seems do not want to take this risk, but as for me, I think it’s the risk that will worth to take, because I know I’ve a bright future in front of me. But the bright future that I’m talking about might seems years ahead, that yes maybe I’ve to suffer from my decisions for another extra year, but after that it’ll worth all the struggle that we’ve to go through.
Being a married woman made me different from a single woman. Before I can decide anything by myself. Now, yes I’ve to think this implication to my family, which is the last thing I want to do. Before, if i did any mistake I’ll ruin my own self, now I’ll not only jeopardize my hubby life (which I’m not worry that much), but maybe my kids in the future.
Sometimes I think, become a housewife will make me less pressure, and I might find my own happiness in the kitchen, in my apt. But, is that what I really want to do for the rest of my life?
to be continued…
