ZILA NYER!

wah, cek2 frenster ni, tgk2 ramai lak kekwn ku da jd mommy n bakal jd mommy. To Ana and Sya congrats, to Tini and Kay, jd mak yg baik2 ok, jgn garang2 sgt. To my friends di KAA, kak jun and dr rahim, congrats gak dgn kehadiran baby2 anda. heh.. too much to ctacth up, ada sapa2 lg x yg i forgot to mention?
My report just due td. Lega skit je (tgk2 ade lg correction nak wat, huhu). But at least lega skit la and I start looking fwd for break that I’ve been wanting so much. Tp kene lak siapkan journal utk publish lak, and nak kene kemas office to have it vacate soon before new year. Well, at least pasni da ada excuse la kalu x nk dtg to my dept since I have return my key and da tade opis nak melangok.
well, I can’t believe how short my 2 and half years feel. I hope I have learned enough and bring sth new to my life and career. I have to start listing what I learned so far other than teaching (which I did passionately and regularly). But I don’t know if I have the same confident to deal with Malaysians students. I mean basically here I really know my materials, because I myself was a student here, same material is covered, nothing change that much except instead I was sitting on student chair, now I’m standing with blackboard in front of me. But I dearly loved my students here compare to when I was at UPM. It’s so unfair for them right? Maybe I have a better connection with students here coz I know exactly what their life is, but I hardly understand any life my students have in Malaysia. Or, maybe I was asked to teach kelas yg I don’t like in Malaysia (always aerodynamics), I prefer teaching something to deal with math instead of theory (I’m really bad with aerodynamics theory other than shock, turbulent, vorticity).

My very last assignment as TA at U of A dah pun selesai. Actually my hubby yg grade kan students nye final exam since I was busy with my thesis last week, but today I finally put everything together and final grade utk students da pun di releasekan. Ah, it feels so good that I don’t have to see "that Prof" lagi, although td die tanya gak kalu die nak ape2 bantuan leh x I help. My mistakes for saying I’ll be around for a while to work on my journal. But of course I won’t pick up la kalu die call, x kuasa nak keje for free ni.. hehe.
Ekceli, keje byk lagi, tp malas tul la nk tgk heavy paper lg. Since my graduation on Friday, da abis da baca 2 buku citer.  Ingt nak kuar shopping, but since Christmas almost here, malas lak nak beratur lama2. So, I guess I better wait until after christmas, at least sale pun byk masa tuh.

Yeay, da grad, da grad, da grad! Time to crash.. (drroolingg!!)
Still x caya, da grad da :)).. da dpt graduation plate da.. Yahoo.. well, I’m not officially grad until next week after I sign release form for my report to be kept in U of A library.. But at least da pass with my final thesis defense. And I never know that I can be gagap with all the attacks throwns by my panels. But they’re all very nice, siap tgh bg presentation leh stop mkn kek jap, sbb they can see I never really stumble with my words since they know me ever! Not during class presentation, not during teaching, but today, sbb penat sgt for this whole week I been working to produce reports n refine my results, my brain akhirnye freeze at last n important moment!
But, well I pass :). After the defense terus g book store to get my graduation tassel, n blk umah just to get the camera for my dept graduation. Tb pun da lewat n my tummy is singing for food. Thank you to Nadrah for the lovely present you got for my graduation, n thank you for my hubby for Kenneth Cole watch he got for me.
Oh, time to crash on my bed. I’m dying for sleep!

today I have to teach 2 classes, dgn x siap prepare, I finally decided to cover previous materials, and cover some new materials. However, selamat la the next class I’ll have a visitor from DELL company, so the engineer will spend 10-15 min of class time to give some presentation about the company. So good things for me, i don’t have to talk for more than an hour (suara da cam ella da nih!).
Right now I’m waiting for a call from Dell representative who will come to my 2pm class. Just finish grading hw’s for other class, now tell me when is time for me to work for my own classes and projects? It makes me nervous to see that time ticking really fast. But I also already opt to graduate this semester. kalu x jadi, naya la cause visa da nk expire, keje pun I x pegi renew contract, but I think this is for the best. kalu da renew visa n da renew contract keje, nmpk gaya I’ll never leave Tucson. So, I’ll take some risk with my own decision. Wish me luck!

The trip to Houston was a great experience, I took a direct flight from here to George Bush airport (it cost $800 for round trip ticket, the same cost utk flight blk Malaysia!). Depart at 4.30pm and arrived there around 8pm local time. Then from there took shuttle ke sheraton hotel. Believe me, room provided tuh utk club member je, haha, my 1st ever time masuk hotel room that cost $300/night.  I was so excited hingga lupa penat badan n time difference, the next thing I know da nak midnight. esok kul 5 am da kene bgn, however sbb x penah berpisah with hubby n yoshie in my sleep, i couldn’t sleep all night long, where I finally decided that I’m done trying to shut off my brain, and wake up and have an early breakfast at the club lounge. So, no sleep for 24 hrs, I went to the interview.
There were 4 interviews to go through, from the director, manager engineer to HR. the VP gave an hr presentation explaining the company and the organization. It was an interesting talk! My 1st-2 interview went well in fact, not until during my interview with director n senior engineer that I start to cough and lose my voice. Poor me! after the interview we had lunch and continue with tour around the facility. My feet hurt a lot sbb pakai kasut tinggi from yesterday, kene lak jln kat kilang, other facilities outside. Finally the meeting broke around 2 pm, so time for everyone to get back to the airport. my flight time was 6pm, arrived at the airport around 3.30pm. by then I no longer can walked. I’m counting my step, I guess 100m distance took me about half hr. da sampai at terminal baru la terpikir nak patah blk beli magazine, souvenier, mkn, etc.
then finally naik flite at 6pm, by then I think I black out for 15 min, sbb sedar2 everyone da dpt minuman except me. then, I stayed awake until sampai tucson at 7.30pm local time. HOME SWEET HOME!

eee.. kesimpulannye aku x puas ati lg even da luahkan kat blog, I guess I’ve kept it too long, dr bln 8 ari tuh 2-2 org ni wat pasal kat aku, n aku wat don’t-know je ingga da ke tahap sakit ati bgt. 3 bln ler dok aku layan org2 ni, wat akunye keje pun x siap, da brp lama aku x jmp advisor aku update keje aku sbb ikut kan sgt tlg org tuh ngan Institute  Seminar die, pastuh dok opis ade lak org ikut aku ke hulu hilir, bile aku kata aku ade keje nak type utk Dr %%%, siap die kata tape nnt die taipkan n nnt die pulangkan dr tuh utk dpt nama. aku x kisah pun pasal nama, kalu nk nama da lama la aku berlakon tahap cipan. pastuh da abis layan die, terus die kata, ok, nk g wat hw. sakit hatii aku watnye. pastuh siap ade hati tuh, die nk pujuk Dr tuh utk belikan laptop utk die wat keje utk dr tuh. pastuh projek motorola yg kene cancel tuh (citt, kalu x dpt aku $3,000 utk keje 2 weeks aje), die siap kata nak suruh Dr %% tuh contact sbb die nak wat ngan half payment, sepatutnye $9,000 total dpt. Lerr ade hati tuh, pastuh selamaba la ckp, u teach me how to do, I’ll do it, percaya sgt la tuh, lastly aku lerr yg kene wat bende tuh da aku je expert in reliability left kat dept ni. aku senyum kambing je la, dlm hati try la minta aku nak dgr masa die minta, silap2 lecturer aku tuh jerit kat die ade la. Lastly semlm die dtg ckp abg die yg kaya raya da belikan die laptop siap bgtau jenama la, siap compare2 ngan akunye.. la ni aku pakai IBM utk school project, kang aku bawa Mac lak baru tauu.. isk, x baik riak, tp meluat aje.. haa, da kul 5 ptg ni, aku nak cabut blk pun kene sorok2, malas dr $&# nmpk aku kang ade lak either aku x blk umah, atau aku gaduh ngan die. Patut x aku lawan mulut ngan die? ke cam biasa wat pekak n songeh aje, msk tinga kanan kuar tinga kiri..

ha, da panas kat cikgu x reda, sorg bdk ni lg la wat aku skt otak. ari2 dok tepon aku berbelas2 kali, aku x angkat x paham bhs ke. pantang tau aku ade kat opis, dok la bertenggek berjam2. sbk la citer die dpt research itu ini, tp sampai la ni x de 1 research pun die wat. sbk la tanya pendapat aku, pastuh esok lusa dgr x minat la itu la ini. pastu menggegigal suruh aku tanda paper exam die, kalu x bg mlm2 die call da tanda lom, da tanda lom. masa aku ajar pun die call, ee, skt otak aku jmp org camni.. pastuh x dpt wat exam dtg citer kat aku, ler cam aku ni kaunselar die lakk.. ikut ati nk je tuka no hp, tade la tiap2 pg die jmp aku tanya napa x angkat fon, jawapan aku biasa la aku silentkan phone pastuh lupe nak on blk.
ha, ape pendapat ek nak lari dr org camni? sakit ati ade, meluat pun ade, pantang dtg ckp die dpt top notchnye research, siap paksa aku baca emel offer la, buka website group tuh la, aku ni, group aku sendiri pun aku x penah buka, sampai die tunjuk kat aku sbb die nak join group aku, dok siap tanya aku dok seat mana kat lab, cam x penah nmpk aku x dok kat lab je, ape die nak amek seat aku kat lab ke? nak amek, amek ler, aku dok situ nak print keje je, hehe.. selebihnye aku terperangkap kat opis aku ngan list2 keje x surut2. pastuh sbk la tanya napa nama aku ade, bdk ni tade la dlm website tuh, mana la aku tau, g ler tanya prof aku tuh. nak je aku ckp kat prof aku, dont waste ur time talking 2 him, ari ni nak keje kat lab ni, esok lab ni, pastuh lusa nak tuka dept, ade gak org lg gile dr aku ek? pastuh die cume nak dpt offer je, da dpt offer ditayangkan kat semua org. lerr, sapa peduli sapa offer ko, aku nk dpt offer pun leh tanya mana2 prof, tp yg aku nak, aku wat bende yg aku suke, prof x top notch ke ape, aku x kisah, pastuh asal advisor suke aku da, ade ape2 opening diorg offer aku, tuh je da cukup. nak pikir offer, aku pun ade byk offer nak wat research, (isk teringt awal2 dulu pun aku dok cari research tuka2, tp aku tuka 3 advisor je, hehe, n I stick to thermal science je sbb tu je aku suke), yg mamat ni dr fluid, ke MEMS, ntah kalu die grad from aero dept pun, aero semua die try. stick to one lah beb.
pastuh ari tuh 1 ari die citer pasal pencapaian undergrad die kat univ kat india tuh.. cehh, aku grad kat U yg sama, cool aje, x de aku nk bgtau org CGPA aku grad, itu zaman lepas, la ni zaman master, result dulu x tlg ape pun.. penat otakk aku ni kalu ari2 jmp die. sakit otak x korang?! aku jarang tull x suke org, kalu aku x suke aku x campur, ni aku x suke, tp ari2 die cari aku. kalu le die tau parking spot aku, kot2 setiap ari die cek nak tau aku da tibe sek x. kot2 aku parking je, die terus lari kat aku ngan cite2 "sensasi" die. da brp kali aku hint die, die dok tanya mana thesis aku show la show la, aku kata aku tade masa, kalu aku la org ckp camtuh, aku minta permisi cpt2 x nk waste org tuhnye time.

Hot, hot.. panasss, panas, tensen..
haa, da la byk keje nak wat, grade exams, hw, prepare lab, grade lab report, wat kan si $%& dienye brochure, keje byk x siap, si $%& naikkan temp aku ari ni. semlm fail brochure yg aku wat utk die ilang, ntah die yg simpan ke haper, die dok tanya aku. ari ni i’m really bz, kelas kul 9:30-11, sambung 11-12:30 opis hr, lunch jap kat rumah Rah, kul 1:30-2:00 aku try abiskan grade exam, tp x sempat lg 4 paper out of 44, pastuh kul 2:00-5:00 aku nak conduct lab, ingga x sempat nak prepare ape nak ajo, selamat la semua ok, tgh ajo, kene lak tanda lab report diorg sbb x sempat tande lg skit, si $@// sbk tanya aku bile n mana brochure die. lastly aku pun naik ler suara, I got paid for teaching the lab, so pls do not disturb me! ha, patut lab abis kul 5, tp sbb siap cpt dlm kul 4pm, aku blk ke opis, again my cell phone berdering2 x henti. I decide not to pick up, lantak la, aku tgh hot niii..
ade rasanye nak jmp my head report utk wat restriction supaya die x leh contact aku lg. ari tuh head da offer aku utk "ape ntah term tuh", tp aku kata tape aku leh handle, la ni da menggelegak aku cam suhu boiling water dlm lab td. selamat la students dlm lab aku sporting, kalu x ngan student2 aku jerit sekali.. hehe, tp aku x penah marah student aku lg, aku la cikgu yg plg baik…
aku rasa prof aku kat atas opis aku ni mmg tgh hot gak.. haa, kalu 2-2 tgh hot, ade 2-2 dok saling jerit ni.. so, baikla aku biarkan temp aku cooling to room temp blk b4 aku take any action, masalahnye "time lag" utk suhu aku ni turun besar sgt, ntah sampai kul brp suhu aku 93 ni pun aku tatau. selmt la aku dok atas bukit, so takat didih aku rendah sikit, kalu aku dok bawah bukit, da cecah 115 celcius buatnye, n selamat la da nak winter, surrounding temp help aku cool down skit..
tp sakit ati sapa yg tau.. yg wat aku panas ni, punye byk pekeje yg die paid sendiri x de lak nak wat keje, aku yg dipaid by dept lak yg over2 kene wat keje die. Mmg la kalu sampai esok suhu aku x turun, tau ler die, aku leh je filekan saman sbb die salah gune kosaa… haa, ikut hati kesian, ikut jantung skt jantung aku dibuatnyee.. eeee.. panass.. panasss..

kelmarin kan, kan, ade org tepon dr mesia, saying she got my phone number from embassy, she call utk bg me bg ucapan hari raya kat mesia. My reaction?? freaking out! I don’t know that time i da berkumandang di udara tak, da la tgh dlm kul 9 pm, grading hw students sambil tensen2 sbb they did a very terrible job, pastuh tensen kat hubby sbb suruh die grade, tgh2 dok explain kat die ape nak digradekan die leh tgk tv pastuh tanya blk, amender?? mana la i x melenting, da abis da tenaga dok explain2, pastuh keje melambak2, die wat camtuh.. baru je abis marah2 n bebel2 kat die, tepon lak berbunyi.. haha.. mmg wrong timing la. so, ape lg I pass to my hubby to talk ngan radio tuh, haha..
then, mood da baik suruh la die on speaker so we both can hear n talk.. hehe, mmg terabur ler BM kami, yg my hubby thought tuh radio dlm BI at first sbb I pass kat hubby sambil ckp in english, die pun dok la ckp english ala BM, bile I kuit suruh ckp BM baru ler die kata, radio melayu ke, ha, ape lg, tergagap2 ler kitorg dibuatnye.. hehe.. siap org tuh tanya tgh belaja ape, kitorg ckp je aero engr, abis la kene interview pasal angkasawan Dr muzaphar tuh.. hehe.. frankly speaking, we both think it’s a real great thing, sbb at least hope he can bring some knowledge la kpd industry aero kite, but at the same time rase x syok sbb die antar medical dr, we really hope Malaysia send pilot ke, engr ke, b’cause now I doubt ape objective kite ke angkasa. whether nak study the space ke, atau kite nak learn maybe one day kite sendiri boleh launch our own rocket, n mengemudinye tanpa bantuan org luar. But then, ade ke industri nak sponsor gov kite in this kind of research? berbillion we talking about to do research in this area. I my self doubt bile kite akan dpt launch our own rocket, build our own satellite. Maybe after all, sending a medical dr not a bad idea. Maybe doing research in microbiology lebih mudah dicapai matlamatnye. But again, this is "Malaysians from Arizona" opinion, esp yg tgh belaja aero engr  we know how hard to reach the  goal. At least maybe we start with building airplane dulu la, supersonic airplane. Or maybe if we can allocate a good deal of money utk research bidang ni, we can save billions from buying from other country.
Tp macam mana malaysia nak berjaya, byk sgt campur tgn pihak2 lain, dan masalah dalaman yg perlu kite selesaikan. the idea nak bubarkan dept aerospace di UPM pun byk buang masa je, penat wat paper work, meeting after meetings, end up bile menteri da kene tukar tpt, bende tuh ilang gitu aje. Time that we can use for research da jd time utk meeting aje laa.. sethn kite bazirkan masa, ikutkan masa tuh kalu bina sayap kapalterbang pun da jd. then industry pun x byk nak offer grant for research or any collaboration ngan U. and plg sedih amount of bachelor degree da bersepah2 di malaysia, but more then that x ramai berminat nak smbg study. I guess insentif yg diberi kpd graduan pasca sarjana x nmpk sgt. wat abis duit je belaja, x dpt gaji lak masa belaja, bile da keje gaji x berbeza pun ngan org yg ade ijazah je. so, that kind of mentaliti tuh la yg wat org lemah semangat skit. belaja punyer la susah, jd cikgu pun gaji lg byk, keje lg kureng. tuh sbb persatuan cikgu2 byk masa minta pelbagai request tuh.
ha, I know this is hot topic kot2 ade cikgu2 yg baca. mmg la korang akta keje byk, cuti pun byk gak kan? pastuh kata mcm2 beban kite ade, tp masa kite berikrar nk jd cikgu kite da tau what kind of task kite akan facing. sama la juga org kata pasal polis, nak jd polis awal2 da tau x dpt cuti masa raya sbb kene jaga traffik (hehe), tp tade la polis terlebih masa persoalkan itu ini. it’s the task you willing to take, then you have to sacrify la skit. I’m not being "mcm kacang lupakan kulit", I thank so much my dear cikgu’s yg da didik me from tadika hingga la abis SPM. but we know some cikgu just jd cikgu bkn krn minat tp krn keje yg senang. ok, ok, I attack cikgu too much la. what i’m trying to say is, kekurangan galakan dr semua pihak utk mesia melahirkan lebih ramai org yg boleh berjaya internationally.
Tgk negara India, negara miskin camner pun, diorg tahu yg education is no 1. kalu tgk kat mana2 negara, ramai org india dtg smbg belaja wat master, phd, post doc. diorg tade duit pun, tp either diorg sanggup pinjam duit, atau minta pelbagai scholar. so, hasilnye tgk la company infosys, TATA, dll, semua tuh hasil usaha bkn org kaya pun, org biasa yg terpaksa gadai semua bende but still have a drive to thrive. Cuba pikir2, ape company malaysia yg ade branch kat mcm2 negara? humm, petronas ade x? proton?
I’m saying this b’cause i believe actually mesia ada ramai org yg sgt bijaksana, maybe jauh lebih ramai pandai dr negara2 lain, china ke india ke jepun. tp kite limitkan ability kita. sampai satu tahap umur we expect to settle down, keje, berkeluarga. Tp sbb mentaliti tuh kite rugi. Kite boleh berkeluarga, semua org kawin, tp progress tuh kene la sentiasa berterusan. betul x? pastuh tayah la suruh pencen awal2, selagi org tuh sihat nak keje sampai 70 thn pun x kisah la. tp kalu da nyanyuk ke sakit lain la citer.
apa yg aku bebel ni? sebenonye nak ckp… aku jeles je tgk org2 dr negara luar berduyun2 dtg US, UK, tambahkan ilmu sdgkan ramai org mesia jauh lebih layak. pastuh aku jeles je dgr mcm2 company dr negara luar ade kat sini, tp kite tade.

my 1st kad raya br je arrived kat my e-mail box. huhu, e-card je, from my sis, tuh pun die wish general kat semua org. ade ke die wish "bawa keta baik2 blk kg ni, n jmput dtg rumah", isk, x jaga perasaan org la. No, I won’t drive blk kg, n no, I’m not coming 2 ur place raya ni. Tape2, ur wish means a lot to me anyway. hehe.
anyway, baru je cek ICTucson website, raya fall this saturday.. so, dpt la daku g semayang raya di padang thn ni. Baju ape ek nak pakai? humm.. da berthn daku x dpt baju raya baru, huhu.. recycle la lama2. gambar ke utusan pun x sempat antar thn ni.. huhu, ralat la pulak, tp nak wat malas bebenoo.. gambar pun tatau nak anta gambo ape, gamba kucing boleh x? hehe..
so, camne thn ni rah, nak wat mkn2 ke? malasnye la nk masak utk ramai org. ape kata kite mkn bertiga je la, i masak satay, kuah kacang, mee soto, cukup lerr tuh.